Ruby Watson

Cairn Terrier

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• Ruby Watson has issues. She can’t abide the existence of West Highland White Terriers and has embarked on a personal crusade to rid the world of their kind.

• In fact, she can barely bring herself to even speak to most other dogs. She doesn’t believe she should ever have to sit in the back of the van with other dogs. Front seat, limousine please.

• Watch for long enough and a pattern starts to emerge until her psyche finally, undeniably, reveals itself. Ruby Watson is a human being stuck inside the body of a dog.

• Every morning of her life, Ruby Watson rushes to the mirror to check whether the mistake might have been corrected overnight. But alas and alack, the curse continues. She is still in the body of a dog, despite the fact that she is a human being. Not just a human being, a goddamned princess. The horror, the horror.

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